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Minggu, 26 April 2015
Romancing Saga Minstrel Song: A Remembrance
Selasa, 21 April 2015
Dear Friend, Somewhere Far Away...
It has been so long since we last met,
And talk,
Well, it doesn't look like we have really talked to each other since we ever knew each other,
Do you even remember that we attended the same high school?
I will be doomed if you forget about that -___-"
I just really hope that you don't forget that we also attended the same college after all,
You were always...
Hmm... how should I put this...
You were always... shining, like a star, so bright and brilliant,
You were... so smart, beautiful, like really, we would find all the qualities of a girl in you,
I still remember when we were both working on the same exam, you easily excelled all the questions in no time while I was still trying so hard to answer one question,
Yeah, yeah, I knew it, you might have forgotten all about it,
Not that it surprised me,
It might not be a big deal for you, but for me, it felt like a very fond memory,
You're... one of the greatest person I have ever seen,
When I looked at you, I felt like looking at the high sky,
You resembled all the possibilities, all dreams that would come true,
Everything,
To be exact, sometimes I would be so jealous at you,
For being so smart, so bright, so very very skillful,
When compared to you, I felt like I was nothing special,
I still remember the way you looked at me, some time in 2012,
You were standing there, just looking at me, saying nothing,
Even when I walked to you and waved my hand in front of you, you seemed like you didn't really see me,
The time you smiled to me was after I started to talk to you,
Dear my friend,
At that time, I didn't really think about the reason why you acted like that,
And just today, I really know what happened,
And I can somehow, relate it to the way you looked at me that day,
Well, I might not be the one you want to hear (or read) this from but... at least let me say this one thing to you,
I really understand how you feel.
Well, okay, deep inside, we are not really what people call as 'friends', but I consider you as one,
I don't really know why I consider you as one, but, you know, no matter how much I want to deny, deep inside I did admire you,
For every single thing you mastered,
For every single thing you could do while I couldn't,
And no, I am not pitying you or something, I just want to tell you honestly that I understand it, I really, really, understand how you feel,
I really understand,
I was on the same boat anyway, though, my case was not as hard as yours,
Writing this post on my blog is just a silly effort, I knew, but we never really exchange contact number or something else, right?
Like I said, we were never really 'friends' to begin with, because, yeah, we were on two different worlds after all,
You were already so high on the sky when I was just learning how to fly,
And right now, I remember about you,
The decision you made must be so hard, and requiring so much bravery to take,
Yet, despite of all the great changes, you keep standing, you keep all your rationality with you,
And I know, I have one more reason to admire you after all,
I guess you really are a very great person,
Look, I understand that maybe life can be so unfair and cruel at the same time,
But I believe, every little thing happens for a reason,
While every hello will end with goodbye, every lose will be replaced with something more precious,
It doesn't matter where we are, as long as we stay true to ourselves, we will get by anything,
I hope you're doing well at the place you are now,
I hope that happiness will always be with you no matter how many hardship may lie ahead,
I know you will be fine,
Because you are... you.
---
NB: anyway, the song of Rascall Flatts titled as 'My Wish' may convey all the things I want to say to you too.
Senin, 20 April 2015
Old Little Song
So...
There is one song I've been dreaded to hear for so many months.
Yep, because I thought it could be the dead of me,
Or... maybe I thought it made myself got lost inside the rain (ok, this is cliché)
Or maybe, I thought that it would make me jump out of the road and screaming like crazy (oh geez, this is exaggerating)
Such a long drive home,
I was not a fool, though they say I was wrong, I knew I was right,
I knew it,
I knew the result long before I even start trying,
Sometimes,
We don't even need a mirror to look at the rear side of us, because we can turn around with wide eyes,
All that matter is how to avoid bumping the rear, right?
Like an apprentice driver, traffic jam is just another challenge,
Add some heavy pouring rain, then it will be so difficult to see what's ahead,
Then at the end of the road, you will find the blue deep forest swallowing the avenue,
It is not the wrong way,
It is my way home,
Anyway,
The forest is still as blue as ever, no matter how many times the clock has been crashed and burned,
So many people talking as the time ticks, and I thought they must be talking about me,
Not that it matter to me,
Because I found my way home,
It was such a long way, like, very very long way,
Every step I take is not meant to be recovered, so yeah, there's no going back to the way it was, not that I want one,
And then, at my home today is the very first time I hear the song for this year, like I believe, that day was also the first time I ever heard the exact same singer and melody,
The same song that made me laugh in different kinds of happiness.
The pressure is long gone.
----
NB: I challenged myself a bit to write some kind of self-reflection when I found the song I stopped listening for so long, and to my surprise, my first reaction was laughing. Anyone knew what the song is? This post contains so many clue to the song btw :)
Rabu, 08 April 2015
When It's Hard to Get Up
Let's just say that I spent this early morning contemplating.
It's been months since I buried my chance to continue my study, which I realized has made many people disappointed in me.
Haha, I will never forget the disappointed look on their faces when I decided to postpone my research.
Well, let's just say that it's unbearably hard for me to say that, I mean that research is a part of my dream, it is still one miraculous thing ever happen to me.
But let's just say that condition forced me to do so.
If you think I would cry over this, haha I did MORE than crying, haha..
Let's just say I escaped to my hard routine to forget my disappointment.
I was disappointed in myself, yet I could not bring myself to stand back on my feet.
It takes me a lot of time to recover, and suddenly I arrived at today.
Subconsciously I opened back my research logbook and frowned...
How did I become so cruel of myself?
As I traced back my written words on the papers I couldn't help but feeling stupid.
For giving up.
For running away.
For pretending that I can forget this one miracle ever happened to me.
I should have believed in myself.
Nobody has ever invented this research method but me, I mean look at this research progress! Without feeling too high I am in awe of my own logbook.
...
...
...
I may be too late, but late is always better than never, isn't it?
Yes I know, I am too clumsy for starting up so late, but hey, since I've been in awe with myself, I should start over.
I will start, today!
I Dream of You
This is a silly yet funny post for me so please read at your own risk.
Let's just say that today is my moment of truth,
I will face... er... some kind of trial this afternoon because of my... lack of focus, haha :p
And let's just say that I am in a pinch.
I can imagine some meaningful outcomes this afternoon, but I refuse to choose any of these possibilities.
And then I messaged my friend who used to be my partner last year, told this person everything, and this is the reply I got,
"Oh my God, I was wondering why I keep dreaming of you these days! So you're in trouble, huh? Why didn't you tell me about it instead of intruding my pleasant dreams?!"
And despite of my pinched situation, I squealed in delight.
It's great to know that we have some kind of 'invisible connection' with people.
It is just great.
(NB: actually there is one childhood friend of mine that keep bothering my dreams for some days already. The more I dream of this old friend, the more I feel like this old friend is in problem. It just that, er... I don't know whether I have to say anything or how I should contact this person. I just hope everything is alright)
Jumat, 03 April 2015
Like A Hero
Selasa, 31 Maret 2015
Freaking Out Over My Laptop
Rabu, 25 Maret 2015
365
Some people said that nothing beats the hand of time. The most beautiful thing in the past will turn into less than most beautiful as time goes. The most painful thing in the past will turn into less than most painful as time goes. People’s memory is not that powerful to hold onto their past unless they try so hard to forget anything else.
Kamis, 19 Maret 2015
Untitled
You cannot choose what happened in the past.
You cannot control what choices made by people before you.
You cannot do anything for things labeled as 'past'.
Sometimes, out of your control, you are bound to the consequences of mistakes from people before you.
Sometimes it drags you down, makes you desperately in need to blame people before you for everything.
Yet,
Keep in mind that past does not matter to the future.
Keep in mind that future is pure, untouched and ready for you to shape.
Whatever things left from the past which bind you down, no matter how much drive you feel to blame, keep in mind that everything happens for a reason.
Then, keep moving forward.
Kamis, 12 Maret 2015
IM vs Pulsakuuu...
Kalau ada hal yang paling menghabiskan pulsa di hape saya maka itu adalah game online dan instant messaging, terutama, IM group. Hahaha :D
Tergabung dalam suatu grup instant messaging adalah hal yang sangat lazim saya alami beberapa tahun belakangan ini. Alasan ketergabungan saya dengan grup tersebut adalah karena profesi yang sama, acara yang sama, atau pemikiran yang sama,
Ada juga beberapa grup yang sebenarnya tidak ingin saya masuki tapi entah bagaimana nama saya tercantum pula disitu, hahaha :p
Selalu ada grup yang akan ramai sepanjang tahun.
Lalu ada juga grup yang sepi di bulan keempat didirikan.
Dan ada juga grup yang walaupun sepi tapi akan tetap menunjukkan empati saat salah satu berbicara.
All kinds of group.
Dalam sebuah grup, biasanya ada yang vokal dan ada yang pasif. Ada yang tengah tengah juga sih..
Mereka yang vokal biasanya adalah sumber informasi, sedangkan mereka yang pasif biasanya adalah orang yang males buka hape dan baca satu per satu IM (seperti saya misalnya, kalo ndak japri biasanya saya buka beberapa jam kemudian, kecuali kondisi urgent dan emergency).
Keuntungan dari grup IM adalah persebaran informasi yang cepat. Instant messaging adalah bagian tak terpisahkan dari pengumuman, hehe..
Kerugiannya adalah saya tidak bisa keluar masuk grup seenaknya.
Hahaha :D
Ada grup yang isi pembicaraannya agak... hmm.. agak nonsense (straight-o, hahaha) tapi by the name of respect, saya menahan diri untuk tidak mengomentari hal nonsense tersebut. Walaupun kadang akhirnya lose control juga sih, hahaha XD
Biasanya saya suka keberadaan grup macam ini karena walaupun isinya sering nonsense, bisa jadi bahan melepas stres.
Ada grup yang isinya nggosip... dan ini adalah hal yang pasti membuat saya me-mute grup itu terus menerus. Saya tidak merasa perlu untuk tahu setiap detil hal yang dikerjakan orang.
End of comment.
Ada grup yang isinya orang orang yang tidak kenal betul satu sama lain, maka saat seorang anggota grup tadi mendapatkan achievement (yang sebenarnya saya tahu sudah didapat oleh anggota yang lain sejak dulu) seisi grup tersebut akan amazed dan menganggap itu adalah kali pertama achievement tersebut didapat oleh anggota grup tsb.
Ada grup yang isinya orang galau. Satu orang yang paling galau akan terus menerus memberikan ceramah untuk (maksudnya sih) mengatasi kegalauan tersebut. Padahal sebenarnya... saya tidak galau dengan apa yang ia galaukan, haha..
Tapi ya itu, respect membuat saya tidak walk out to hanya sekedar mute saja :p
Lucunya, hihihi... beliau yang vokal ini akhirnya bisa mengatasi kegalauannya, dan sekarang sering memberi ceramah agar anggota grup yang lain tidak galau "karena semua akan indah pada akhirnya".
Ada kalanya juga isi pembicaraan di grup tadi tanpa sengaja terasa nyelekit. Tapi ya itu, walaupun saya sudah gatal ingin keluar dari grup tadi, namun atas nama respek, saya masih bertahan juga akhirnya.
Walaupun di kepala saya sering bermunculan ide untuk exit exit exit.
Yeah, all kinds of group.
Terkadang, orang akan membuat persona dirinya sendiri dalam sebuah grup, yang kadang jauh banget bedanya dengan dirinya yang asli.
Mungkin itu yang membuat saya agak males berkomentar di beberapa grup yang isinya "ceramah" karena saya tahu si penceramah ini sebenarnya tidak se-angelic itu, hahaha :D
Oke oke, saya menghargai upayanya untuk menyebarkan kebaikan pada orang lain... tapi sampai batas tertentu. Ya, sampai batas tertentu saja :p
Sering juga, saya dijapri sama satu dua orang yang merasa tidak puas dengan hasil pembicaraan di dalam sebuah grup. Entah kenapa jadinya awkward..
Jika di satu sisi grup IM bermaksud membuat orang bisa mewadahi aspirasi bersama, di sisi lain IM juga bisa mematikan vokal dari mereka yang merasa minoritas.
Walaupun tidak jarang ada juga sih minoritas yang vokal dan tahan bantahan :)
Biasanya saya dapat predikat silent reader, terutama dari beberapa grup yang sudah lama saya masuki (revise: dimasukkan sama admin, apalagi di grup yang isinya bengkerengan (I don't even care about any nonsense they are arguing, hahaha :p).
Namun tentu saja,
Ada beberapa grup yang saya suka. Biasanya ini adalah grup dari teman-teman lama saya, atau grup yang isinya adalah rekan-rekan seprofesi yang memiliki visi misi yang sama.
Mohon catat tulisan 'visi misi yang sama' diatas, bukan visi misi sendiri yang dipaksakan harus jadi visi misi bersama dengan alasan apapun.
Grup yang saya sukai adalah grup yang objektif dan saling mengutamakan kepentingan bersama.
Catat, kepentingan bersama, bukan kepentingan eksis, hahaha :p
Finally,
Saya mbuat postingan ini tanpa ada maksud mengomentari secara spesifik satu dua grup yang saya ikuti. Well, ada banyak sekali grup di IM saya lho, walaupun beberapa grup membuat saya jengah, grup-grup lainnya membuat saya nyaman dan tertawa juga.
IM is not bad, asal dalam porsi 'yang dianjurkan'.
Btw, mungkin karena saya seperti inilah maka saya termasuk satu dari beberapa orang yang tahan tidak pakai BB maupun BBM for Android sampai hari ini. For a note, saya pernah install BBM di android saya, hanya untuk saya uninstall sebulan kemudian karena masalah baterai. Hehehe :D
---
written out of the blue as a response of useless constant update of some groups, what a waste of pulsa -___-"
Minggu, 15 Februari 2015
Rare Moment of unBEARables
Hihihi...
Biasanya karena sama-sama sibuk, kita online hanya sebisanya kita, itupun biasanya ditinggal aefka. Paling sering Daily Spin terus pada balik kerja lagi. Kalaupun agak lama mungkin ngubek-ngubek Auction atau saling mempivipi.
Next time lah ya saya ikutan pose.
Love you all.
Jumat, 06 Februari 2015
It is me talking about love
I have no right to speak of love,
But then again I was convinced of one thing.
The blindness in love is not about loving with no reason, is not about sacrificing all with no reason, is not about leaving anything behind with no reason.
The blindness in love is not about trying to drive all other people away from our beloved.
The blindness in love is not only about keeping our beloved close to us for whatever reason.
The blindness is about understanding.
The blindness is thinking about our beloved's happiness better than ours.
The blindness is feeling happy when our beloved is happy, though we might not be a part of their happiness.
The blindness is feeling content when our beloved acsend their life skillfully, though we may not be a part of their struggle.
The blindness is still knowing our beloved's good sides through all bad things ever happen.
If you are only thinking of yourself, your safety, or your ego before your beloved, then you are not blind. You are not in love, you're just being selfish.
No, not shellfish, selfish.
Not all beautiful times remain beautiful.
But the remaining ones were the ones which made us grow into better ones.
PS. I am not in love today, but I love watching every movement around me.
Rabu, 21 Januari 2015
Ten Years with You
Rabu, 14 Januari 2015
Thought about Kenshin
Tapi saya baru liat movie ketiganya kemarin siang, sampe direwangi pulang duluan pas kerja :p
Ini waktunya liburan jadi takpapa lah saya sekali-sekali pulang duluan, hihihi :p


