Rabu, 08 April 2015

When It's Hard to Get Up

Let's just say that I spent this early morning contemplating.
It's been months since I buried my chance to continue my study, which I realized has made many people disappointed in me.

Haha, I will never forget the disappointed look on their faces when I decided to postpone my research.
Well, let's just say that it's unbearably hard for me to say that, I mean that research is a part of my dream, it is still one miraculous thing ever happen to me.

But let's just say that condition forced me to do so.

If you think I would cry over this, haha I did MORE than crying, haha..
Let's just say I escaped to my hard routine to forget my disappointment.

I was disappointed in myself, yet I could not bring myself to stand back on my feet.

It takes me a lot of time to recover, and suddenly I arrived at today.
Subconsciously I opened back my research logbook and frowned...
How did I become so cruel of myself?

As I traced back my written words on the papers I couldn't help but feeling stupid.
For giving up.
For running away.
For pretending that I can forget this one miracle ever happened to me.

I should have believed in myself.

Nobody has ever invented this research method but me, I mean look at this research progress! Without feeling too high I am in awe of my own logbook.

...
...
...

I may be too late, but late is always better than never, isn't it?
Yes I know, I am too clumsy for starting up so late, but hey, since I've been in awe with myself, I should start over.

I will start, today!

Tidak ada komentar:

Posting Komentar

terima kasih sudah membaca, have a good day!

siennra

Foto saya

I am Enneagram type 7 with ENTP, highly imaginative, lots of flight of ideas, yield many hobbies and skills, and unsurprisingly extraordinary. Yes, why do people even bother to define themselves as ordinary while every soul is downright created as extraordinary? :p