When It's Hard to Get Up

Let's just say that I spent this early morning contemplating.
It's been months since I buried my chance to continue my study, which I realized has made many people disappointed in me.

Haha, I will never forget the disappointed look on their faces when I decided to postpone my research.
Well, let's just say that it's unbearably hard for me to say that, I mean that research is a part of my dream, it is still one miraculous thing ever happen to me.

But let's just say that condition forced me to do so.

If you think I would cry over this, haha I did MORE than crying, haha..
Let's just say I escaped to my hard routine to forget my disappointment.

I was disappointed in myself, yet I could not bring myself to stand back on my feet.

It takes me a lot of time to recover, and suddenly I arrived at today.
Subconsciously I opened back my research logbook and frowned...
How did I become so cruel of myself?

As I traced back my written words on the papers I couldn't help but feeling stupid.
For giving up.
For running away.
For pretending that I can forget this one miracle ever happened to me.

I should have believed in myself.

Nobody has ever invented this research method but me, I mean look at this research progress! Without feeling too high I am in awe of my own logbook.

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I may be too late, but late is always better than never, isn't it?
Yes I know, I am too clumsy for starting up so late, but hey, since I've been in awe with myself, I should start over.

I will start, today!