you will find it, the answer you are looking for (兄ちゃん, 2012).
Times like this, I find myself keep pondering over one question, I will ask, and ask and ask, and I will be very very confused as the clock is ticking painfully slow. If the back of my mind was a forest, I would love to leave all the equations ever brought up to my ears and withdraw into the depth of the wood,
There is always a part of me which refuses to step out of my shell, as if afraid of impending rain, or thunder, or maybe some kind of Pikachu which is waiting patiently to zap me alive.
The forest gives me the grace of temporary comfort, like cotton sweet before it melts into our tongue then disappear after some lingering sweetness. The sugary feeling will flow away like the burnt of candle, providing lights while dying itself, giving warm feeling before it turns cold,
When I let off a heave, I understand the weight of every single step I take, like tiptoeing just beside the river, like jumping around the floating parts of an ice lake, with flames that grows bigger on my feet.
It will warm, or burn, the forest as I walk by, as if the life of the grass is seeping out from its root, water turns into air and my breaths are shortening.
Should I really, step out of the forest?
Can I not stay inside just a little more of forever?
The air is swirling in my lungs, spread to my back, my neck and arms, makes me shudder and easily stops my feet. As I hastily curl back to my knees, I feel like the leaves stretch down to give me a breathtakingly warm embrace. There is a sting in the back of my eyes, threatening the sky to fall down and flood the land.
But, what will really happen if the sky really falls down?
The hums of hummingbirds echoes between branches, blurring a definition of distance between the roots and the tops, as the sun bathes my sleeping form. The chirp of pixies dances around me as they sing the tone of trepidation and excitement in the same song, as if trying to support my guess that the answer is yet to come so easily.
I dare not to open my lids when I hear my superego says,
What will you do if you were me?