Day 10: Home

they say when I find home, I find my haven.

Today I asked myself like million of times...
... what is haven?

They say it is the place where I can feel calm and content.
They say it is the place where I can find peace.
Where I can just feel familiarity.
Where I can just feel like being at home.

What did I really feel then?

It was nothing like I ever understood.

I was not able to understand.

If this is the haven, then I must have been visiting all the wrong places throughout my years, up until now.
But,
Is it for real?
Is it really for real?

There is a chill creeping up my back when I replay the moment I visited it.
There is an urge in the back of my mind to run back there.
There is an impending tears in the back of my eyes, threatening to pour down.
Can I not be here a little while longer?
No.
Can I not be here a lot more longer?
Like, forever?

Is this haven?
Will this be another place that I need to leave again next year?
Will I also find my way back here when I got lost like last time?
Will this place be waiting for me?

Is this illusion?
Does my mind play some tricks with me?
Why cannot I cast my magic to repel any of it?

As I look up to the night sky, the stars shine bright, and I wonder whether the sky looks the same from somewhere not here.
From the place that is not here.

Will I ever want to leave or will I keep defending this place?
Is this haven, or just another transit?
Will I have to move out, or will I decide to stay?
Will there be answers for all of it?
Is this  haven?

Because,
It feels like... home.