you know, you have to be...

What I see from myself is a lot more important than what people see.

Yesterday, one of my senior said to me something that made me cringe.

She is one of my everlasting senior. She is dependable, and has helped me many times.
She is  also someone who stood by me when times get rough.
Forever, I have her as someone I always feel thankful to.

Yesterday though, I cringed when she said to me, "You know, I really have to be strong,"

I blinked.

Well yeah, I have to examine at least 30 students within the next four days. Oh, and I also had to stand strong because of some relationship problems. I have to undergo examination to continue my study. I need to find out the route for my trip by the end of August, and I seemed to fail one of my professor... Oh, and my research needs to continue and I have to publish something before October. I also need to sort the data for my own work promotion. The quality assurance unit still has three projects that haven't even started and I still have to lead the curriculum development project.
etc.

So of course I need to be extraordinarily strong.

I promptly said to her then, "Well, I think I have so many things that are meant to make me cry, but look, I don't even shed a tear! I'm perfectly fine and strong enough,"

She laughed when I said that and answered, "Nice to hear that. Keep it up!"

I don't know why she said that, because I had to leave soon after.
Maybe because some people said that I secluded myself since I felt sad, while in reality I was unable to spare myself to feel any sadness.
Hey, I have so many things to do.
Some crumbles here and there are normal occurrence for me.
I didn't realize it, but when I do, I find myself perfectly capable to continue my life, no matter how.

I won't say my life is hard, instead, from a slightly different perspective, I find it very fun. Though, I won't say it's easy. Some people I met along the way were actually a burden and I honestly found myself hoping that I never met them.
But I learned how to go on no matter how hard it may seem. I learned to let life takes it course and stop worrying about things beyond my control. Life is easier that way.

Most of things happen within my ordinary tag and those do not easily affect me mentally. It takes a powerful blow to shatter my mental shield. And I grow stronger from all encounters.

Though, I am grateful to have someone like my friend in the story above. Because in the end, no matter how strong I can be, I am no more than a human.