Being an originally morning person, this head works best in very early morning. Most of my leftover works are done by the time sun rises.
My family often says that my head reaches the sharpest edge 15 minutes after I wake up in the morning. I guess it is the compensation of not being accustomed to stay up too late (except for a VERY few reasons). Days when I have duty to prepare breakfast usually ends up with me waking up even earlier.
Inability to wake up early is an initial cue that my life rhythm is being disrupted.
Another thing to consider is my willingness to work hard to the bone during the weekdays. Not that I am saying I am the most hard-working person out there but I do take my responsibility with dead-serious dedication.
My fuel runs down by the end of Friday. As the Friday sun sets, my loco needs recuperation time, which means a nearly-absolute need of undisturbed weekend with my head out of things you define as ‘work’. It also means as undisturbed weekend I can use to explore my other side of life such as quality times with my family, playing around with my friends, or maybe just an undisturbed time between me and my favorite games.
A disturbed weekend means that I will lose some of my ability to do my best in the following weekdays because my fuel is not full enough to tackle all the obstacles. Which is completely terrible for me.
In summary, I work hard, I play hard.
I do well under pressure. I do well with expectations. High one. People can expect me to take high performance responsibilities because I am confident enough with my willingness to learn and upbeat work-drive to complete my tasks under almost all circumstances.
Note that this only applies with my loco being recharged every week.
See where I am talking?
Sure I do not mind if people texts or calls me in weekend, but I cannot repress my urge to turn my phone into airplane mode if those text and call are all about work.
Come on, it is weekend! We are all human and we need recuperation. Can’t some hard workers get their undisturbed time for two days?
Fine, this happened quite frequently these weeks, which means I work under pressure and high expectation for too long. Way to long. Three months with disturbed weekends. The result is ultimate slow disruption of my own rhythm due to excessive tiredness.
Sure I know that everyone is furious to complete their projects because time is running so fast to the end of the year. I cannot blame the situation. I guess this happens because I miscalculated my own ability to stand too long in impression of she-can-do-anything-smoothly. This year I certainly multitask way too much for my own sake.
For weeks, I gradually lose my sharpness and continuously need to stop my work pace every now and then. Prolonged work is undeniable.
Rebellion sounds sweet. Not that I want to. Rephrase, not that I want to spend my energy in rebellion.
I gradually lose my ability to wake up early like I used to be. I did try to maintain my rhythm but slowly I have to surrender to my own tiredness. Especially after some ruined weekends. I almost do not have any fuels left to think sharp and crisp.
Well I did not write this post to blame nor criticize some leaders out there, but I do make a mental note to be a leader that will not disturb their team members’ weekend. For the very least.
I think the root of these deadlines is sloppy time management of both me and the leaders. Like I have said, I miscalculated my own ability. You can say that I overestimated myself. Yes, I did.
I should have seen this time coming. Now that I am already inside this spinning world of everything-is-deadline, I have no choice but to move along and keep doing my task.
As for the leaders, well, I do understand completely that they are far more busier than me, aren’t they? Or they aren’t, are they? Well, whatever, I will not try to badmouth anyone here, because I DO ENJOY BEING THEIR TEAM MEMBER, but I do hope I can do better in future if I have to step up as leaders.
Do not get me wrong, I do not like being in too much spotlights. I enjoy being someone pulling strings from behind the stage. I am confident with my leadership skill, but I do not have that high ambition to become leader.
Leaders supposed to be the most tired person. Responsible leaders, I mean. Though maybe not physically tired. Leaders supposed to be the one with concept and has responsibility to guide (guide, I said, guide) their team to achieve success.
Not that I am trying to say my leaders are bad. They are great leaders, great skills, and great achievement history. It is just that everyone is being chased with a demonic angel by the name of deadline.
Well, let’s just let it go for now. I already feel better when I am writing this down. After this, I just simply have to do my best again. What do you expect? Me saying to my leaders that I am no longer able to finish my task?
Nuh-huh, I will complete this year smoothly. I mean as smooth as I can manage, because leaving work unfinished leaves a really bad taste on my tongue.
Besides, this life is easy to follow. Whenever it gives you difficult times, it supplies you with growing ability to overcome it.
So what is my reason in writing this in a first place? To have some written talk with myself about this difficult time so I will never forget it.
Why English? Because it grasps my emotion a lot more beautiful than my own language. Face it, it is the truth. No worries, I do love my country.
Thanks for reading and I do hope you have a good time.